


Where I Used to Belong

by helishdreams



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, F/M, Mostly just non-magic AU of the show, Post College!AU, kind of?, where Regina and Emma used to date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11810196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helishdreams/pseuds/helishdreams
Summary: Regina graduates college and she and Emma break up. There's not much more to it than that.Now, thirteen years later, Regina's life is (mostly) in order. She's mayor, has a son she adores (even if he won't adore her back), and a stable relationship. But then Henry runs away and brings Emma back into town, forcing them both to come to terms with what happened so long ago, and figure out what to do next.Non-magic!AU. Starts where S1 begins, but quickly veers off.





	1. Prologue

** Prologue **

_Mary Margaret has posted a picture to Regina Mills’ wall:_

“I saw this in the college paper and thought of you. You guys are too adorable for words - please come visit in the summer, I miss you both so much. Congrats on graduating!”

 

Regina idly clicked the icon, but as her eyes fell on the picture her jaw slowly dropped.It was a picture of her and Emma, arms wrapped around each other, looking at each other with eyes that were clearly _not_ platonic. Regina knew exactly when it was taken, and knew that had the photographer clicked a second earlier or later, they would’ve been caught. Kissing. In public. Where her mother could - 

 

_Cora Mills has liked a photo posted to your wall._

_Cora Mills has commented on a photo posted to your wall:_ “How cute.”

 

Regina’s heart plummeted and she pulled out her phone before placing it on the desk in front of her, waiting. In the meantime, Regina deleted the photo without a second glance, and the call never came. 

 

_You have 2 new messages_.

**Mary-Margaret:** Regina! I’m so sorry! I thought you had told your mom about you and Emma - I hope you’re doing ok.

**Mary-Margaret:** Regina, please, it was an accident, I’m so sorry about everything. I hope you’ll still come to visit in the Summer. I really do miss you and Emma. Desperately.  

****

Four months later, and Regina couldn’t quite believe she was still alive. She was interning at a mayoral office in a town that was somehow even smaller than Storybrooke and excelling at it. She’d even managed to make some friends.

But it did nothing to ease the gnawing ache that sat in the pit of her stomach, even now.She and Emma had broken up. It had been a rational choice - Emma wouldn’t graduate for another year yet, Regina was stuck in the middle of nowhere, and so they decided that long distance wasn’t for them. What it hadn’t meant, what Regina had never thought it would mean, was that they would never speak again.

Of course she cracked, eventually. It was bound to happen sooner or later. She dialled the familiar number for no reason other than to here the other girls’ voice. Convince herself it hadn’t all been a figment of her imagination.

But, instead of hearing Emma’s voice at the other end she was greeted with an electronic hum, followed by a cold voice informing her that the number was not in service.Three more tries, and nothing had changed.

It appeared that Emma’s number did not, in fact, exist anymore, and Regina never tried to call again.

 


	2. Chapter 1

**thirteen years later**  

It was nearing midnight, the house was quiet in the darkness, and Regina lay in bed, eyes wide open.Robin lay next to her, mouth open and breathing gently, his face smoothed by sleep.But Regina felt none of that peace so slowly, quietly, she climbed out of bed. Robin rolled over behind her.

‘ ‘gina?’ he mumbled, but she was already gone. 

Now out of bed, she could hear every movement, every creak in the house. Quickly she padded into the landing where, curiously, a light was still on.

‘Henry?’ She whispered.‘Are you awake?Henry?’

Robin joined her in the landing, pulling her towards him.

‘What’s going on?’ 

‘I don’t-' She pulled away from him, taking shallow breaths, and opened the door to Henry’s room. A brief moment of peace was short-lived as she turned on the light to find that the lump in the bed was nothing but a pile of covers, piled up in a childish attempt to mimic a sleeping person.

‘Henry!’ Her voice cracked and at once she felt too hot and too cold in his room. She turned around wildly, crashing into Robin as she tried to exit the room.He stood tall and solid, blocking her in, and she couldn’t find the presence of mind to push him out of the way. 

‘Regina what -‘

Somewhere in the house a small child started crying.  Robin’s eyes flicked once to the door, conflicted, then leaned forward to grab both her hands, pulling them up to his chest.

‘Regina, darling, look at me. What happened?’

‘He’s - he’s gone.’

***

In a small apartment in Boston, Emma Swan shucked off her decoy date heels with a sigh and threw them over the back of the couch without looking where they landed.It had been a long day, hell, a long night, and _not_ how she had been planning on spending the evening.There would be no birthday candles for her this year. An entire month of chasing this guy, only to have it culminate in a date fake-out left her feeling hollow.As her eyes drifted shut, her mind couldn’t help but wish that maybe, next year, she could have a real date.

A sudden knock on the door startled her out of her reverie. What time-? No matter, really, she wasn’t expecting anyone - she was _never_ expecting anyone. Maybe she had imagined-But there it was again, and so, with a groan, she pulled herself up off the couch.

‘Coming,’ she grumped and went to open the door, where a small child greeted her happily.

‘Emma Swan?’ He piped.

‘Yes…?’ Emma didn’t know any children - hell, she couldn’t even remember the last child she had _spoken_ to.

‘I’m Henry. I think you’re my birth mom.’

_Fuck._

***

Twenty minutes later, Regina was dressed, pacing frantically around her study and yelling into her phone to the Sheriff’s department.

‘No, I have no idea where he could be. Do you think I’d be so worried if I did?'

_‘I’m sorry, Regina, I know you’re stressed, and understandably so, but these are just routine questions._

‘I don’t care if they’re routine - every second you’re here talking to me is a second you could be out there looking for him!’

The door opened, and Regina snapped her head upwards, heart leaping, but it was only Robin who entered.At her questioning look, he shook his head sadly.

_‘Mayor Mills-? Regina?’_

She ran a distracted hand through her hair and resumed pacing.

‘I’m still here.’

_‘We have people out looking for him as we speak. Most runaway cases turn out okay - especially in such a small town. He’ll turn up. Just sit tight, and stay at the house in case he decides to come home. He’s a smart kid, Regina, he’ll be okay.’_

She hung up the phone, flinging it with a curse at the daybed.She looked up at Robin, heart stuttering, eyes wild, and he strode over enveloping her in a hug. Regina tensed momentarily, then let her eyes shut, relaxing into his hold as tears began to flow from behind her closed eyelids. 

***

With every mile that passed under the wheels of her tiny yellow car, Emma’s chest was rapidly filling with dread. It rose up her throat from her stomach like bile, threatening to drown her in this tiny car. Even with the engine’s roar in the background, somehow her short, gasping breaths still cut through all the noise. 

Henry had fallen asleep about twenty minutes out of Boston, and Emma, quietly happy for the breathing room, had left him. 

She should have called the cops. She knew that.And even now it wasn’t too late.But the thought of the interrogation, the likelihood of having to start over _again_ as she lost the trust of yet another police contact kept her pressing onwards into the night. Towards Storybrooke.

Storybrooke. The name still gave her room to pause, even now.She never thought she’d return – hell, she’d always made a deliberate choice not to do business in Maine. Even Boston had been a little close for comfort, but the money had been good, and what were the odds that she’d ever have to return?

Emma wanted to laugh at the notion.Her life had been one misfortune after another, of course her son would have ended up in the one town she never wanted to return…

She hoped he’d had a good life so far. He seemed well-dressed, well-fed, polite, well-spoken, and certainly more confident than she’d been at that age.Maybe it had all turned out for the better. But there was still no shaking the look on his face when she asked after his parents, and that gave her pause. Sure, he was happy, but what if she _hadn’t_ given him his best chance? 

But then, Storybrooke had always been kind to her, even on the days she couldn’t stand the sight of her adopted family. If the town was willing to help a fucked-up sixteen year-old girl, surely Henry would be fine.Even if his parents weren’t as kind as Emma had once hoped.

Emma had been adopted by the Blanchard family near her seventeenth birthday - while it was too late to make any real difference in her outlook on life, it was still enough to show her that not _all_ people in this world were terrible.The happiness and the optimism lasted as long as she could have ever expected. Four years of happiness, of family, of love. But Emma had a habit of screwing up every good thing life had ever offered her, so of course it didn’t last forever. She’d returned to Storybrooke just once after dropping out of college to say goodbye to Mary Margaret, but never again.

She took the highway exit almost automatically and was struck by just how familiar it all looked. The trees, still dark and foreboding, hid their secrets well. She felt, as she had done all those years ago, that there were likely to draw her in and never let her go.

A light in the distance caused her to slow gently, and Henry stirred at her side. He sat up, peering out of the window blearily, then with wide eyes as he realised where they were.

‘How did you know where to go?’ He marvelled, and Emma couldn’t help but roll her eyes to herself.

‘Google maps,’ she lied smoothly, cringing internally at the suspicious expression that clouded his face. They had both seen her thrown her phone into an overnight bag before tossing the whole lot into the trunk. Thankfully, Henry said nothing. 

She slowed further as they passed a shiny, well-lit sign that read, ‘ _Welcome to Storybrooke_ ’.

'Well, that’s new,’ Emma mumbled to herself.

‘My mom put that in last year,’ Henry said brightly - whether in response to Emma or just in observation, she wasn’t sure.

‘Your mom? Is she-‘ Unsure of how to continue, she looked at Henry, begging with a shrug for more information.

‘She’s the mayor.’

‘Your mom’s the mayor? Oh, I am in so much trouble…’

Henry chewed on his bottom lip guiltily, and Emma signed. _Smooth, Swan_. _Perfect_.She cleared her throat in an attempt to rid the car of the tension and glanced up at the clock-tower for light. 

‘So, where to now, kid?’

He guided her through the darkened suburban streets, and the thought that Emma had been trying to keep at bay since Henry had first uttered the name Storybrooke started to spill into her consciousness. 

‘Left here.’

_No, no, no_ … Emma’s mind went into overdrive, scrambling for any excuse that would account for this. There were at least twenty houses on this end of the street, so the odds were slim…

Emma’s throat seemed to constrict, and she squeaked out, ‘What’s the number?’

‘108. It's the big one at the end of the street. You won’t miss it.’

Emma thought she might be sick. The excuse (‘oh, maybe they moved…’) died in her head as she remembered with sudden clarity taking the same drive all those years ago. Even the words were identical - though the girl who had said them spoke bitterly, while this boy - this _child_ \- seemed to know nothing of her pain. As if this night could get any worse.But Emma wasn’t one to look behind her - she’d made her decision, and she wasn’t going to back down now. 

She pulled up to the kerb, hoping against hope she was wrong - that she was dreaming, that this whole thing was one sick joke being played on her by her psyche. 

She stared up at the house, huge white columns reflecting out into the darkness, and she was filled with that same nausea she hadn’t felt since she was twenty, meeting her girlfriend’s family for the first time. Back then though, there had been someone to hold her hand, offer her reassuring smiles and notions of love.

Emma couldn’t help but feel a pang of neglect as Henry leapt out of the car door and slammed it shut behind him. 

‘Kid,’ she called out in exasperation, clambering out quickly behind him, and following him up the path.She had barely reached the gate when the front door swung open with a bang.

‘Henry!’ A woman rushed out from the house, running towards him and pulling him into a tight hug. 

Emma stopped and stared slack-jawed at the woman in front of her.The air was forced out of her chest in a second - in her haste, she had momentarily forgotten to be afraid.After everything that had happened, maybe it had all led to this - but still, there was no making sense that the woman standing in front of her; the woman she had inadvertently given her child to was -

‘Emma?’

Henry had vanished into the house, and now it was just the two women, standing alone in the garden. Emma’s mouth went dry, her lips started tingling, and she smiled weakly.

‘Regina, hi.’


	3. Chapter 3

‘Regina, hi.’ 

Emma looked up from Henry’s face, smiling weakly at the woman that stood in front of her.Regina’s eyes were all for Henry as he pulled himself out of Emma’s grip and attempted to bolt past Regina.She just a managed to grab him and pull him into a hug, before he tore himself out of her arms, face screwed up in anger.

‘I found my real mom!’

‘Henry,’ she called after him softly, and looked wounded and confused up at Emma.

‘ _You’re_ his birth mother - I don’t -‘

Emma could do nothing but shrug, her ears were filled with a buzzing noise that seemed to occupy every inch of available space in her brain. Regina - mouth slightly lined, hair shorter, but still unmistakably _Regina_ , stared up at her with that too familiar vulnerability. While Emma knew that look and all that it entailed, she still couldn’t shut off the part of her mind that was relieved. That was so, so happy to be back here again.

‘One hell of a coincidence, I guess,’ she managed to say. 

‘You guess?’Regina ran a hand through her hair, Emma tracking its progress fondly. But then all at once, the other woman’s eyes hardened, the expression of vulnerability rapidly exchanged for a steely smile. 

‘Shall we continue this inside?’

She considered Regina for a second; her initial surprise at the change in Regina’s expression was slowly making its way out for dread. 

’Sure,’ she mumbled, striding towards the house and following Regina into the foyer.It was just as big as she remembered, and while most of the furniture seemed unchanged over the past ten years, the abundance of photos - of both Regina, Henry, and even Regina’s parents marked a striking distance from the way the house had been kept previously. There was a suspicious absence of photos from more than about ten years ago, Emma noticed, but she refused to think about what that meant. 

‘I see you got rid of that hideous horse painting,’ Emma joked weakly, but, seeing the look on Regina’s face, instantly regretted it.

‘Regina, Henry’s fine. And I managed to get Roland back to bed -‘A man, tall with a fine layer of carefully trimmed stubble, walked down the stairs, stopping abruptly at the sight of Emma.Regina, endlessly unfazed, smiled warmly at him, and he skipped the last step to stand next to Regina as her hand gravitated to his arm. 

‘Thanks.’ Then, at the curious look he was giving her, sighed more to herself than anyone else.

‘This is Emma Swan - Henry’s birth mother. Emma - Robin.’ 

Emma tried to ignore the way Regina’s voice grew cold as she spoke to her.She looked to Robin just in time to see his eyes widen in recognition before quickly schooling his face into a pleasant - if a little practised - smile. 

‘Well, thanks for returning Henry to us, Emma.’ He spoke with an easy English accent, remaining casually polite in a way that Emma didn't want to trust.

A mumbled, ‘It’s no problem, really,’ found its way out of her mouth; Emma suddenly found herself reluctant to talk. Every word she had thought up on the way here seemed to vanish from her head as she looked at Regina - _married_ , in this giant house.

As though he sensed the tension, he turned to Regina. ‘I’ll leave you two alone?’

Regina smiled gratefully, but Emma saw the hand resting on his arm tighten in panic. 

‘We’ll be in the study if you need us,’ she said tightly. ‘Can you check on Henry in about ten minutes?’

Robin pecked Regina on the cheek before heading upstairs - if he thought anything about Regina and Henry, he didn’t say it. 

Alone now, Regina turned to Emma. 

‘Well, come on then, let’s get this over with,’ Regina said tersely, and Emma sheepishly buried that forbidden hope to follow Regina down out of the foyer. They walked in silence down the familiar corridor, but Emma found herself surprised when Regina turned left instead of right when they reached the end.

‘You’re not in Cora’s study?’ 

‘I couldn’t bear it,’ Regina admitted quietly.‘I swapped it with the spare bedroom - the view’s not as nice but-‘ She cut herself off, but too late. Emma had already heard the pained note in voice. The other woman stood with her back to her, taking the decanter from its spot on the bureau and uncorking it gently. Emma’s eyes traced the back of her neck, the plane of her arm, yearning to reach out and gently run her hands down its edges. 

‘Does it get a lot of use?’ Emma can’t help but ask quietly.She’s reprimanded accordingly when Regina glares at her over her shoulder. 

‘No. Robin, _when_ he stays, sleeps in my room. We set up Roland in the room next to Henry’s,’ she finished definitively, as though to answer all questions that Emma possibly had. 

But there was one more question that Emma cautioned to ask as Regina turned around and handed her a drink before they both sat down. ‘So how long’s that been going on for?’

Regina openly scoffed, but Emma stared her down until Regina shrugged impatiently. ‘About a year now. But I’ve known him for about twelve.’

Emma felt the intended barb _\- it serves her right_. Twelve years. Had it really been that long? Her face softened involuntarily at the thought of all that wasted time.  She ignored the  part of her that flushed in relief that Regina hadn't married.

If Regina noticed any of her internal struggle, she kept her face cold and impassive, and Emma looked down at her shoes, scuffed and dirty on the pristine rug.

‘Time flies…’ she murmured.

Something shifted in her peripheral and when she looked up Regina was sitting up, back locked upright, legs crossed tightly. The drink was on the coffee table, and her hands were entwined in each other, placed deliberately on her knee. 

‘Emma, let’s cut to the chase.’

Emma felt herself sit up a bit straighter at the tone in the other’s woman’s voice, her stomach filling with dread. Ten years ago Emma had sat the room across the hall, face similarly ashen with fear. But it had been another Mills then; hell, another _Emma._

‘Despite our - _past,’_ Regina spoke the word as though it caused her physical discomfort, and Emma wanted to scream at the world. ‘It doesn’t change anything. When you put Henry up for adoption you requested no contact. And it was on that condition that _I_ adopted him.’As she spoke, she moved towards the edge of the seat, towards Emma, eyes glinting with malice unfamiliar to Emma. She opened her mouth to argue, to question to at the very least _try_ to plead her case, but Regina cut her off curtly.

‘No, you don’t get to speak. Henry’s a troubled child; it’s been a rough few years, and then finding out he’s adopted-‘ Regina pursed her lips, ‘The point is, _I’m_ dealing with it. You’re continued presence here will do nothing but confuse him further. Thank you for bringing him home, but I trust you’ll leave him alone from now on. I can give you money for fuel if you require it…’

With each second that passed, Emma felt herself becoming more uneasy with this whole situation - this Regina, while she looked and even sounded like the Regina she once knew, was nothing like the Regina Emma had been expecting even five minutes ago. While _her_ Regina was all soft planes and throaty laughs, this Regina had nothing cold eyes and even colder words.And she couldn’t stand for it - she had spent too many years being beaten down and kicked around to let Regina, of all the people in this world, do it to her. God, if she had learned anything these past ten years, it was when to take a stand, and, whether it Regina or not, the sick unease she felt at Regina’s general demeanour, coupled with a child so obviously terrified of her, made Emma fight back.

‘You’re dealing with it? He’s not some problem you can just deal with - he’s a child! I don’t want your money - and I’ll ask you not to treat me like I’m just some stranger barging into your “perfect” life!’

‘ _Miss Swan_ -‘

‘Regina, no -‘ Emma screamed in frustration, throwing her hands into the air. They were both standing now, eying each other angrily, taking deep, heaving breaths.

Regina regained her senses first, and her voice dropped to an icy whisper.

‘You listen to me,’ she said, ‘Henry has a mother, and it’s not you. The law is perfectly clear. You will respect that otherwise I _will_ get the authorities involved.’

‘The law?’ Emma laughed. ‘The law can’t possibly make allowances for a situation like ours-‘

‘And yet, the law remains unchanged,’ Regina answered, placing her hands on his hips. ‘It was a closed adoption, _Miss Swan_ , and I expect it to stay that way.’ Her face contorted into an ugly sneer, and Emma momentarily flinched away. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, hands scrunched into tight fists at her side. She drew herself up to her full height and took a step forward, pressing the height advantage.

Regina, to her credit, did not back down.

‘In case it escaped your notice,’ Emma spat, ‘I wasn’t the one who wanted to be in Henry’s life. Maybe if you hadn’t been neglecting my son to the point where he felt something was missing we wouldn’t -‘

‘Get out.’ The room seemed to grow colder, and Emma immediately knew something had changed when Regina’s hand hit the centre of her chest and pushed, causing Emma to stumble backwards over her own feet towards the door.She hesitated momentarily, and Regina pressed forward.

‘Please, tell me what part of _get out_ is unclear to you. You gave up all rights to see Henry when you signed his life away, and you gave up all rights to _me_ when you left this town. Now, do what you are so good at doing, and _leave_.’ Her voice had elevated to a yell, and Emma recoiled at the ugly expression on the other woman’s face. 

But before she could do anything, the door to the study burst open and Regina removed her hand deftly from Emma’s sternum where it had still rested. 

Robin stood in the doorway, face hard. He glanced warily back and forth between the two women, while they stood now in silence.For a moment, Emma refused to move. Every synapse in her brain was yelling at her to fight back, to push herself up against Regina and force the issue until Regina had no choice but to let her see Henry. But in the seconds of silence that elapsed, Emma looked away from Robin just in time to see Regina’s hand disappear into her jacket pocket.Emma’s mouth relaxed its tension, daring to open slightly as Regina was unable to hide the unmistakable shake that plagued the hand. Her eyes flicked back up to Regina’s face, searching its contours for something, _anything_ to indicate all was not lost between them.Regina blinked, once, twice, and Emma held her breath, transfixed by the other woman’s eyelashes, but found no secrets hidden beneath them. 

Emma had no luck in trying to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. 

‘I’m sor-‘ but shoved it down. Robin stepped aside as Emma made a hasty exit from the room, and then from the house. While Robin followed her into the foyer, Regina remained, frozen, in the study. 

**Author's Note:**

> This took way too long to post. I'm going to apologise now for timeline/technology inconsistencies, it's timeless, okay? Hope you enjoy :)


End file.
